


What Once Was Broken

by grandpajumpersandeyelashes



Series: Butterfly Kisses [2]
Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Janet and Rick Macy are mentioned mostly in passing, Kieren is alive, M/M, Simon is coming back to life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 10:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2306027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandpajumpersandeyelashes/pseuds/grandpajumpersandeyelashes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A follow up to my previous work, Butterfly Kisses, this is following Simon as he begins to become human again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Once Was Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't as good as the original, I thought I was repeating myself a lot so I tried to change it up a bit but this is what I came up with.

The next morning came with a smile on Simon’s face. Kieren was curled up on his side, his head resting on Simon’s still bare chest. Kieren hadn’t yet stirred. He loved the feeling of waking up with that incredible boy in his arms, and always had, but it was especially incredible that morning. For the first time, he could feel the hot breath escaping the lips of his boyfriend as he sighed in his sleep.

Simon’s fingers gently ran through Kieren’s hair. The messy strawberry blonde locks felt like silk against his now sense filled fingertips. He smirked at the messy state the hair was in as he smoothed it. There was a quiet humming sound that vibrated against his skin as a now semi-awake Kieren nuzzled into his chest, loving the attention he was getting. In turn, Simon received kisses scattered around his chest from the half asleep boy, no words needing to be exchanged.

Jem’s familiar knock interrupted their silent good morning as she came to retrieve Simon for his shot and Kieren for breakfast. “Mum needs you two downstairs.” she told them through the door.

Kieren groaned as he slowly got out of bed, stretching. He waited as Simon pulled one of his less ridiculous jumpers on before he took his hand and gently squeezed it. “Simon, it does hurt, quite a lot really, but I’ll be right there, alright? I’ll have mum or Jem give it to you so you can just squeeze my hand, yeah?” he offered.

Simon nodded before kissing the hand he held in his own. They walked down the stairs together, greeted by the rest of the Walker family, now so used to Simon spending the night that they had a chair set for him at the table next to Kieren, no plate in front of it, but rather a newspaper for him to flip through while the rest enjoyed their meal. Sue was just snapping the medicine into place for Simon’s shot when they reached the kitchen.

“What’s first, Simon, breakfast or shot?” she asked him kindly. Kieren rolled his eyes at the fact him mother still asked as if Simon would eat, but Simon squeezed his hand to tell him he didn’t mind.

“Might as well get it over with, I suppose.” Simon told her.

“Alright, hop on the sofa, then.” she smiled before Jem called for her, complaining about the fact something on the stove smelled like it was burning. “Jemima Walker, you could do something about it yourself, you know. Here, Kier, we both know your sister won’t do anything and I can’t let the eggs burn up.” she handed him the shot before rushing back to the food.

Simon glanced at Kieren nervously, knowing he wanted him next to him as it happened, not in front of him. Kieren understood, calling out, “Hey, Jem, could you come here?” he asked, earning a dramatic sigh from his little sister. “Please?”

Jem, never much of a morning person, strolled over to her brother and Simon on the couch. “What, Kier?” she asked impatiently.

“Could you do this for me?” Kieren asked, offering the shot to Jem.

“Jesus Kier, would it kill you to let go of his hand for two seconds to do it?” Jem asked, laughing at how ridiculous her brother was being.

Simon turned to her, a pleading look on his face. “It’s not that, Jem.” he told her, looking into her eyes. “I don’t deal with pain very well is all.”

The boys could see the exact moment that the comment made sense in her mind. Kieren laughed as she threw her arms around her newfound friend’s neck, hugging Simon tightly. She kissed his cheek, a huge smile on her face. “Simon, that’s great! See, I told you it’d happen soon enough!” After she got over her excitement, she remembered that she was giving Simon the shot. She took it from Kieren, pulling the back of Simon’s shirt down just a bit. “Ticklish, are we?” she asked laughing as he shivered when her fingers lightly brushed his skin.

He rolled his eyes as he felt her lining it up with the hole in his neck. He let out a pained grunt when he felt the needle before he trembled with the administration. Kieren was quick to grab his head, trying to calm the shaking. He could hardly stand the pained look on Simon’s face and the panicked one of Jems as the trembling lasted longer than they expected. He straddled Simon, trying to stop the convulsions with his body pressed to him while Steve and Sue came in to see what the commotion was.

Finally, the shaking stopped as Kieren held his face in his hands. Kieren stroked his face soothingly. “You’re alright, you’re alright Simon.” he assured. “It’s done now, you’re alright.” he told his cringing boyfriend before sweeping his hair away from his forehead.

Simon nodded weakly as Kieren got off of him, choosing instead to curl up on Simon’s side. He was every bit determined to stay there until he was completely certain that Simon was in fact as alright as he had just tried to convince him he was. “Thanks.” he croaked.

“You gave us a scare there, Simon.” Steve tried to say light heartedly. “We’ll have to try to make sure that one doesn’t happen again.”

“No shit...” his children said nearly simultaneously as his wife tutted at his side.

Sue put her hand on the shoulder that Kieren wasn’t resting his head on. “Can I get you anything, Simon?” she asked softly.

Simon almost felt better already, having such a loving family taking care of him though he wasn’t even a part of it. Maybe Kieren had been right when he told him the Walkers considered him one of them already. “A blanket would be nice, Sue. Thanks.” he smiled as she moved to grab one.

“It is a bit chilly in here.” Sue told him as she handed one to Simon and helped him spread it on himself and Kieren. “Steve, maybe we should turn up the heat a bit if Simon’s cold.” she told her husband who only looked at her confused.

“I thought he couldn’t feel the cold, that’s what Kieren always said before.”

Jem huffed from behind Simon, still leaning on the couch behind them. “Well obviously he can now, dad. Christ, be a little more dense. He can feel now, dad, just like Kier.” she told him exasperated as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Oh.” Steve replied before clapping Simon on the shoulder. “Feel better then, right Simon?” he emphasized feel, earning a groan from Jem as she pushed past him to sit next to Simon.

When Steve left to adjust the temperature, Sue was still smiling in front of them. “Well, Kieren, you want me to bring your breakfast in here for you then?” she offered, knowing the answer before her son nodded. “Come on then, Jem, we should eat.

Jem sighed before making a scene of getting up and following her mother. Once both were disappeared in the kitchen, Kieren stretched up to kiss Simon. “Are you alright?” he asked, concern written on his face. 

Simon nodded, kissing Kieren in reassurance. “I feel better already.”

Kieren was kissing his cheek as Jem came in, holding two plates of breakfast. “Get a room.” she teased, shoving one of the plates on Kieren’s lap. He laughed as she kicked his feet off the table so she could walk through. “Mum says if you want anything, just let her know, Simon.”

He nodded, still not feeling up for food. He reminded himself that it took a while for Kieren to want to eat again, so it wouldn’t just happen straight away from him either. Instead he watched as the siblings exchanged some of the food, Jem taking a piece of Kieren’s toast in exchange for half of her potatoes.

Most of the rest of the day was spent just the three of them lazing around the house. They listened to some music while Kieren sketched. Jem was laying in Simon’s lap as he played with her hair, glad for something to feel.

A few days passed, and despite the pain of the shot, Simon’s reactions returned to normal to the medication. Kieren couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched Simon still reach out to feel everything he could, though he understood the feeling of finally having sensation again. There was, however, always one fear on Simon’s mind; relapse.

The last time he had a shot at the whole living thing, he had screwed it up beyond belief. Every time he saw the track marks that had stayed on his wrist, he worried about how rediscovered humanity would treat him. He wasn’t sure if his heart beating would come with the drugs he died with in his system again pumping through his veins, or if he’d get a new chance. Would he have to go through withdrawls? These thoughts haunted him in private, as he didn’t want to worry anyone else with them.

Kieren received a letter in the mail, surprising the entire house one day. It was addressed from Janet Macy, though she now lived in one of the cities closer to Roarton. It was still a decent distance away, but when she asked Kieren over, he found himself unable to resist. She had asked that he meet her so she could finally know who her son really was, years after his death. Kieren was nervous enough about that, so Simon would never voice his own concerns. It felt too selfish.

“Are you sure you’re fine with this, Simon?” Kieren asked the night before he would leave. “I could stay here. Or you could come with, she’s really not bad, she’s not like Bill was, I’m sure she’d love to meet you.”

“You’re rambling, love.” Simon pulled him tighter, kissing his hair. “You should do this, and you should do this without me. To her you’re her son’s lover still. Let her have one lunch with that Kieren at least.”

Kieren nodded before kissing Simon one more time and bidding him good night. They both settle in until the morning is signaled by the alarm Kieren had set for his early train departure. He tried to slide out of bed without disturbing Simon, but with his now functioning nerves, he easily felt it, grabbing his wrist to stop him from going too far.

“Trying to run off without saying goodbye?” a groggy Simon accused as he stood.

“I was going to wake you up before I left. I figured you might want some sleep.” Kieren responded. Simon’s coming back to life was exhausting for him, and he very easily could sleep constantly, something Kieren was privy to. “I’ll wake you up before I leave, promise.” he said before kissing his cheek.

Simon nodded before crawling back into the bed, wrapping up in the blankets tightly, not having Kieren next to him producing heat for the two of them any more. He vaguely remembered the feeling of Kieren’s fingers running through his hair before kissing his forehead and saying good bye, but it wasn’t for another hour that he was properly coherent.

“Simon, time for your shot.” Jem spoke through the door. In his just awoken state, Simon didn’t think to respond right away. The door pushed open, and Jem came over to the bed. “Come on then, sleepyhead, we’ve got a big day and we can’t have you forget your medicine.”

Simon pushed the blankets off as he wrapped his arms around himself, cold despite the layers he wore. He figured that was due to not producing much body heat yet. “Big day?” he questioned, looking to Kieren’s sister.

She smiled, “Well if Kier gets to go to the big city, we get to go somewhere too. My treat.” she nudged him before leading him down the stairs.

When they got to the city, Jem teased Simon as his fingers brushed against almost every surface they passed. He only shrugged, not knowing how else to respond. She was about to drag him off to a shop she needed to stop at when she realized he was half a block behind her, looking into a shop window. He smiled at her when he saw her reflection appear in the glass.

Jem smiled down at the kittens on display as they stood in silence for a bit. Finally, Simon spoke softly, not turning. “I’m scared, Jem.” was all he said, his somber face clear in the reflection.

She hooked her arm with his, resting her head on his shoulder. “Why? It’s alright to be scared, but what’ve you got to be afraid of? Simon, you’re coming back to life.” she tried to cheer him up.

“Did Kieren ever tell you how... You know, how I died?” Jem shook her head, confused as to how that could have anything to do with his fear. He rolled up his sleeve, eyes closed until he heard her nearly silently gasp.

“Are those...?”

Simon nodded. “What if I start again, or my body starts out the way I left it, fucked up beyond belief and high as a kite? Kieren would hate me, and I don’t have anything else, that’s why last time...” he exhaled heavily, a drop of moisture falling from his eye. “I’m just scared Jem.”

She squeezed his arm before kissing his cheek. “Simon, Kier could never hate you. He’s disgustingly in love with you. And even if he did, I couldn’t, you’d have me, alright?” his mouth tugged to a faint, forced smile. “You want to go in?” she gestured to the pet store after another brief period of silence.

Simon shrugged, a small smirk on his face, “Kieren would probably ask when I went from Moses to Noah.” Simon chuckled, earning a confused look from Jem. “Oh, I suppose Kieren never told you... Long story I suppose.”

Jem’s hands found their way into her pockets as she looked down. “Kier and I... We didn’t really talk for a long time after he... came back.” her shoulders slumped. “I treated him awful, Simon. I don’ know how he could ever forgive me.”

Simon put a hand on Jem’s shoulder, comforting her. “It’s alright. We all make our mistakes.” He flashed a short sympathetic grin. “That brother of yours... He’s incredible-”

Jem cut him off with a snort, “No, I don’t need to hear you gushing about my brother to me. It’s weird.” she scrunched her nose.

Simon tilted his head in confusion, “I was just going to say he loves you, Jem. He won’t hold anything against you.” he paused, “You don’t have a problem with Kieren though, do you? That he’s...”

“Not at all. I just don’t need to know about my big brother’s love life is all. Good for him finding a boyfriend who isn’t too fucking afraid to be with him properly.” Jem said nonchalantly as she sipped the energy drink in her hand.

“You knew about Rick Macy, then?”

“Ta, I was the only one Kieren told. Don’t think Rick even knew I knew.” she replied, beginning to lead him away. “You two gave mum and dad quite the shock when they saw you two snogging. I think they both knew, especially mum, but you know, Kier never actually told them. Don’t think he has at all, actually.”

Simon followed closely behind her, listening intently. The rest of the afternoon, Jem told him some of the things about Kieren he hadn’t yet known in much detail. He noted little things she told him, like his favorite ice cream and favorite book. He was doubled over in laughter as Jem told him about his punk stage when they were getting on the train back to Roarton.

They got back to the Walker’s house two hours before Kieren was due home. They went to the dinner table to join Steve and Sue who were already eating. Sue gave Simon a kind smile as he got himself a glass of water to sip on slowly as he made idle conversation with the family. When dinner was done, Jem went upstairs, Simon on her tail. She winked at him as she waved the phone receiver before starting to dial a number and shutting herself in her room.

Simon let himself into Kieren’s room and laid down on the bed. He must have dozed off, because the next thing he remembered was the sound of the door creaking open after Kieren got hom. Simon sat up quickly, wanting to properly greet his boyfriend, though Kieren seemed to have forgone that idea.

Kieren flew into Simon’s arms, tears clinging to his lashes as a shocked Simon held onto him. When he asked what was wrong, all he got was a shake of Kieren’s head so he stopped prodding. Eventually the tears subsided as Simon placed a kiss to Kieren’s forehead.

“I love you, Simon.” Kieren told him, his eyes still somehow stunning after crying. He smiled and leaned into Simon’s palm as he brushed away the tears.

“I love you too, Kieren.” Simon responded, trying to suppress a yawn. He was getting exceedingly more tired as his rehumanization ran its course. 

Kieren sometimes would tease him about it, but not tonight. Kieren was too emotionally exhausted to do anything but strip off his clothes from the day and put on his thin pajama pants and a tshirt. Simon simply stripped himself of his outer layer, jeans and jumper being tossed to the floor before Kieren curled up on his chest.

There was a silence between them as they laid there. Sleep was just beginning to claim Simon when he heard a soft breathy voice from Kieren. “Simon?”

“Mmm?” Simon hummed softly. He rubbed Kieren’s back with the hand that had curled around the boy’s slight frame.

“Your heart. It... Simon, it’s beating.” Kieren’s voice cracked into a chuckle of joy upon the steady sound. He reached up to cup Simon’s face as he felt a shuddering breath. Concern painted its way on Kieren’s face as he looked at Simon who had a silent tear rolling down his cheek. “Simon?” he gently questioned.

Simon smiled through the emotional rollercoaster he was going through. “I’m...” Simon shook his head, trying to sort his thought, “I’m clean, Kieren. The first time my heart has beat since I was younger than you that it doesn’t have drugs pumping through it. I’m not broken any more, I’m fixed. Finally fixed.”

Kieren placed a kiss between Simon’s eyes. “You were never broken. Not to me.” he quietly assured before holding Simon until they both drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of exploring what happened at the dinner and also maybe a once they are both alive fic type of thing, but at the same time I don't know. Thoughts? Thanks for the read!


End file.
